There is a lot of talk at the moment about feminine business creation. How you create a feminine business, what a feminine business is, how it is different to a masculine business, and how, if you work on yourself enough, you become magnetic and radiant and attract what you want. But I do not want to talk about it in that way. I am less interested in the performance of feminine business and far more interested in what it means to build a received business.
For women on a journey towards embodiment, receivership, surrender and feminine expression, this distinction matters. So much of what is described as feminine embodiment still lives on the surface. Dressing in a certain way, carrying yourself in a certain way, having standards in relationships or with men. These things can be part of the process, but they are not the whole thing. Receivership is not a look or a posture. It is a deeper relationship with where your energy comes from, what you are available to receive, and whether the life you are building is actually sourced from you.
For me, this understanding began in 2016, although really the story starts much earlier. That was the year I had what I call my first bathroom floor moment. My grandmother had been in excellent health and full vitality, but after a hernia surgery in her mid-eighties, she did not recover well. Her body did not do what it had always done, and within a short period of time, it became clear that something in her had made a decision.
For years, she had said she was not interested in being taken care of. She was not interested in being an invalid. She wanted to dance until the day she died, and when she could no longer dance, she wanted to exit the world with grace and gratitude. At the time, I never really thought too deeply about it because she was alive, and she was so full of life that her mortality did not feel real. She was independent, capable, financially savvy, vibrant, and for a woman of her era, incredibly forward-thinking. She was not a relic of the past. She was always oriented towards what could be.
When she died, it shocked the foundation of my family in a way many of them never really recovered from. What I saw after her death was not just grief. It was the collapse of an entire energetic architecture. She had been the central person feeding others her energy. She had so much vitality and force that, well into her eighties, she was still doing things for everyone else. When that energy stopped flowing, the people who had been relying on it for their own life force seemed to fall apart. Addiction, depression, anxiety, inability to work, inability to get out of bed, inability to create a life. It was immediate.
As someone who could always feel energy, even before I had language for it, this became a point of clarity. I realised I had known this dynamic existed, but I had not trusted myself. I had been young, and there had been so much overriding of my agency, so I had doubted what I could feel. But after her death, I could see it plainly. When people build their lives on someone else’s energy, when they source their vitality through another person, they cannot fully become themselves.
At eighteen, I had already moved away from my family because I needed my own space, my own energetic structure, my own system of vitality. It was not that my grandmother was intentionally suffocating. I think she had become so wired to flood others with energy that she did not even know she was doing it. I do not know whether people were asking her for it, whether she was freely giving it, or whether the whole system had formed in some other way. But I knew that for my own energetic signature, which was always specific and autonomous, I needed to leave.
Her death was the first time I returned home in almost ten years. Looking back now, what is fascinating to me is that many of the people who had relied on her energy have still never really grounded into themselves. That period became a real investigation into receivership for me. Receiving something you asked for. Receiving something you did not ask for. Receiving energy that is yours, and receiving energy that never belonged to you in the first place.
I did not understand it all at the time. I only knew I needed advanced training in it. I had always been body-led and intuition-led, so watching the family architecture collapse after her death opened something in me. It showed me that the foundation of where you receive your energy from is the foundation of who you build yourself as. The source matters. The truth matters. I could only build my life on my own truth.
This is why I had left so completely when I was eighteen. I did not just move down the road. I left the continent. I went first to South America, then to Europe, then Africa, then Asia. By the time I was twenty-eight, I had been to every continent except North America and Antarctica. At the time, I did not have a neat explanation for that movement. I can see now that I was trying to get far enough away from the energetic structure I had been born into so I could feel what was actually mine.
If you are building anything on someone else’s energy, someone else’s truth, or someone else’s interpretation of how life should be, then you are not in coherence. If someone is giving you their energy, forcing their energy onto you, or allowing their energy to be siphoned off, that cannot be truth. In the highest form of connection to Source, to the universe, to the coherence of the earth and its harmonic resonance, we are in togetherness. We are not here to feed one another our life force.
No coherent, whole, actualised being would ever give you their energy to live off. They know you cannot do anything real with it because it is not yours. It is not how you are meant to function. More importantly, when you are clouded in someone else’s energy, you cannot receive the beauty, magic and perfection of yourself. You cannot live your blueprint when you are wrapped in someone else’s.
Your role is to come deeply into yourself, into your body, your essence and the thread you are here to weave into the tapestry of the world. If you are not holding your own note, threading your own thread, being uniquely and completely who you are, then you are not being yourself at all. You are also pulling the other person out of their truth, because you have to leave truth to believe that someone else needs your life force in order to live.
I loved my grandmother, and she was a wonderful person. She was charitable, generous and loving, but she was generous in a way that bred resentment and thwarted the development of her own children. Ten years after her death, I can still see how difficult it is for them to walk their own path, know their own mind, know their own heart, know their own sense of self and know how to create.
So this is not just about knowing yourself or knowing your energy. It is about becoming so fully and completely coherent in the truth of you that you can access what you are here to bring forth. Women know how to do this innately. It is biologically wired into us. We know how to create. We know how to receive what is external and alchemise it into something new.
But receiving does not mean taking someone else’s energy and trying to use it as your own. That is not creation. True receiving is taking the input from the environment, the spark of inspiration, the thread of experience, the seed of an idea, and transforming it. We take ingredients and make a meal. We take sperm and make a child. We take life and alchemise it into wisdom, knowledge, healing and creation. We receive, we transform, we offer, and the circulation continues.
In the case of my grandmother, that circulation had been interrupted. She was not allowing inspiration to move through and catalyse something in another. She was completing the process for them. She was doing the thing until completion on behalf of the other person. In our culture, this kind of overgiving is often praised. A woman is called generous, capable, loving, selfless. But the same words used in a eulogy can also reveal the pattern. Too generous. Going above and beyond. Giving away her life force until the people around her never learn how to access their own.
Some people have more vitality, more vibrance, more zeal, because they have bigger energy for what they are here to do. That does not mean they are better or more important. Bigger is better is a patriarchal idea. Some people are wired for universal shifts. Others are wired for deep, local, grassroots work. Others hold a more global perspective. None of these is better or worse. Your energy structure and your biotechnology are designed to work together so you can create what you are here to create, leave your mark, sing your note and thread your thread.
But if you are giving away your life force, your vitality, your Eros and your creator essence, you do not have the resources available to alchemise, catalyse, spark and ignite what is yours at the full extent required. You also block the other person from knowing who they are and what they are here to do.
This is where the idea of a received business begins. The source of your energy structure, the place you derive your vitality, curiosity and intuitive pulls from, is everything. If that source is interfered with, you lose momentum. You lose your way forward. What looks like fear, procrastination or lack of motivation may actually be a deeper issue of source.
People often say intuition comes in whispers, but I wonder if that is only true when we are still inside systems that interfere with our own knowing. Once I left the energetic structure of my family, where everyone was looking to my grandmother as the source of energy, my intuition was not a whisper. It was loud.
When I was eighteen, I was an average young person in some ways, but I also had an entrepreneurial spirit. I made enough money through early businesses to pay for university in France and take a four or five month backpacking trip through South America first. That money was not coming from anywhere else. I made it myself. But even then, operating outside the family dynamic was uncomfortable for people around me. There was doubt, fear and questioning. What are you doing. How are you doing this. Why are you doing this.
As a young person, I felt like I had access to wisdom that I would be punished for using. By sourcing my energy, wisdom, inspiration and intuition directly, I was stepping outside the family structure. I did not have language for it then, but I felt the fear, dependency and clinginess in that system so strongly that it repelled me. I knew I could not live there. Biologically, I was still wired to belong, to bond, to be part of the group, but I could also feel that if I stayed, something in me would die.
So I left. I went into the world. I remember people telling me South America would be dangerous, that I would be kidnapped, that I would need ransom money, that all these terrible things would happen. But something in me knew that the fear I felt in other people was not truth. I did not yet know myself fully, but I knew I did not want their life. I knew viscerally that I needed to discover what else was available.
When I arrived in South America, people were in their bodies. They were dancing, expressing, living with a level of acceptance that felt extraordinary to my eighteen-year-old self, especially coming from deep shame, unworthiness and self-abandonment. I began learning tango. I learned about passion, connection, rhythmic expression, intelligence and Eros. It was opening and terrifying at the same time.
That was the beginning of understanding that receivership is not passive. It is not about waiting for something to happen to you. It is about clearing the interference, leaving the energy that is not yours, and becoming available to the truth of your own life force. A received business is not built through performance, aesthetics or borrowed vitality. It is built when the source is clean, when the body is listening, and when the woman creating it has stopped trying to live from someone else’s blueprint.
